In any marriage, infidelity is one of the hardest problems that women face. Being betrayed by someone you have loved, trusted, and cared for throughout the years is terribly painful and hard to accept.
Here are some tips for those who got betrayed by their cheating partner:
1. Culpability
On the surface, it’s easy to blame your husband for ALL the circumstances behind his infidelity. It may seem right to hold your deceitful partner entirely responsible for the situation.
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After all, you wouldn’t be hurting right now if he hadn’t cheated on you in the first place. Perhaps it feels like it’s best to just end the marriage based on this act of disloyalty.
However, you should remember that it is never wise to end a relationship because of an affair. Remember that the time and love that you have invested in the relationship is still worth fighting for.
It wouldn’t really help to blame him for his infidelity; in fact, it would even push him away. Besides, people who cheat usually do so because of something lacking in the relationship.
This area of your marriage is something that BOTH of you are equally responsible for. Instead of condemning your partner for his actions, find a counselor that you can both trust so he or she can see you through these hard times.
2. Implement “The Rule”
If you both decide to save your marriage, then your husband should abide by this rule: “Don’t see the other person ever again.”
This is a period where you are rebuilding your trust for him. That’s why it’s important that he should do his part in making sure that this rule is strictly followed.
As with any mistake, the best way to avoid repeating it is by ceasing all contact with the source of temptation.
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Furthermore, it would also be best for you not to ask questions about the things that your partner did with the third party. Inquiring about the ‘horrible’ details of the affair will just add to your rage the make experience even more heartbreaking.
Remember that you have to both make saving your marriage your number one priority. This will not work out if only one of you is determined to rescue the marriage.
3. Forgive
Obviously, you can never put the past to rest if you refuse to let go of a grudge. If you want to patch things up with your spouse, you have to be willing to forgive.
Of course, forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, but the willingness to do so is the first step towards a long-term reconciliation.
If your heart and mind is open enough to see past your partner’s mistakes, you will always have a chance to pick up the pieces and give it another go.
Most of all, being able to forgive him for what he’s done opens up an opportunity to re-cultivate the love that’s been lost over the years.
With enough determination in place, you will eventually come to full forgive your husband’s lapse in judgment.
