Should you date a married man? Or are you already in an affair with one? If there’s any one advice that you need to hear, it’s: DON’T.
It’ll be very easy for you to click away from this page and stop reading this article. But the fact that you’re here means that you’re looking for something. Answers. Help. Hope. For this affair you are having or are thinking of having with another woman’s husband.
This article will not sugar coat it for you. It will tell you straight what you’re in for. This article was not written to judge you but to communicate to you that all your decisions and actions from this point on have consequences.
5 Reasons Not to Date a Married Man
REASON 1: This is not just between you and him. Like many women before you, your family, society and culture in general have repeatedly ingrained: Don’t get involved with a married man.
However, faced with that situation something else kicks in – hope, happiness, love. No one can fault you for falling in love and perhaps even wishing for all the beautiful things love brings with it – relationship, marriage, children.
The problem is, the one you love already has these things. He already has a relationship, he is already married, and most likely, he has children. Whatever you both do, there are other people involved in this. And you know that the more people there are, the messier it gets.
Think twice and Stop Adultery!
REASON 2: If your man cannot keep the most fundamental promise he made to his wife and kids, how can he keep any promises he made to you? He is both unable and not free to do so.
No matter what he tells you – that his marriage is failing, or that he just needs a little something for himself, he loves you more, or the clincher: he will leave his wife for you – there is nothing he can say or do to change reality. He is already committed.
This means that an affair with a married man has nowhere to go. He cannot promise you a future when he is already building a future with someone else.
Do you honestly think he will tear his life apart for you? 95% of affairs with married men don’t get anywhere. Do you want to be part of the statistic?
REASON 3: An affair with a married man will demand much of you – your time, patience, sacrifice, understanding – even if you are fully aware that the situation is terribly unfair to you.
You cannot be seen in public with him, you cannot introduce him to friends and family, he cannot acknowledge you to important people in his life, and every night, he has to go home to his wife.
Holidays and special occasions don’t belong to you. This is the reality – he’s not yours and his time is already promised to other people.
Moreover, an affair with a married man can cause you a lot of pain. All the hiding, secrets and lack of attention cannot be good for your peace of mind. The running around can be exhausting and the pressures can lead you to heartache.
Additionally, if found out, you can get labeled, stigmatized and disdained by other members of society. More importantly, his wife and kids will blame you for their pain and loss.
Think twice and Stop Adultery!
REASON 4: An affair with you says a lot about HIM, and much of it is not really nice. Think of it this way – is this the way he handles marital problems or personal difficulties?
By cheating on his wife? Is escapism his way of coping? Rather than confront problems like a mature, sensible individual, your man found it easier to run away from his issues. Is this the type of man you want?
Moreover, can you honestly love someone who is so disrespectful of his wife and kids? In addition, let’s say that he does end up with you, what’s to guarantee that he won’t disrespect you in the same way?
REASON 5: An affair with a married man says a lot about you, and you need to work this out. Think about it – what does being attracted to a married man say about you?
Is this a pattern with you? Are you intrigued by the danger or excited by the secrecy of it all? Maybe instead of focusing on this relationship, maybe what it’s telling you is that you need to take care of yourself.
What are your unmet needs? What past hurts do you need resolved? What parts of your life leave you unfulfilled and unhappy?
Perhaps dating a married man is your way of filling up an empty space inside you. It probably does not have much to do with the man but with you. Ask yourself this.
This article does not mean to sound harsh but there is an old, often-used word to describe being involved with a married person. It’s called adultery.
These days, we don’t really like to use that word anymore but, if you look at this situation from it’s proper perspective, it not just impacts your life and the lives of your man’s family, but it strikes at the very core of your personal beliefs.
Adultery — There are moral, legal, emotional, social, relational and psychological implications to this word. Think of it before you even consider dating that married guy in the next cubicle.
Now, on a last note, there are exceptions. A minority of affairs with married men do have a silver lining.
Some men have really been trapped in difficult situations. Short of wishing a fairy tale ending for your affair, even in cases like these, you need to think straight and keep real.
If your man really wants you, he will do what is right – the legal, emotional, moral thing to do for you and he to be happy. If your man really wants you and you want him, you will BOTH WAIT.
And as mature adults, set aside your wants for the benefit of others until such a time as you are both free to be together.
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